Draling With Medical Resentment

Its hard not to feel angry when symptoms are ignored by medical professionals or recomended treatments create new problems and or take away more quality of life. If you don’t follow their treatment your seen as uncompliant. You need psychiatry to get over your “fear” of said treatment.

But no one says anything when it goes badly even then your made out that it’s in your head because they haven’t seen a patient experience it before. This time last year my mum rushed me ro ER my heart rate was all over the place ro where the nurses had ro adjust the machine every few minutes. I was in the worst pain I’ve ever experienced, I couldn’t eat or drink and I was beginning to turn yellow. This was all caused by an iron infusion,no specialist believed me until they saw the photos

I was told it couldn’t be from the iron as they hadn’t seen anyone react to it before. Since then I have come across so many that had the exact same reactions.
This year I was put on a steroid treatment for my hearing loss. One dose had me curled up in a ball crying for days. I couldn’t eat or sleep, all I could do was wait for it to pass. Since then my legs have stayed cramped, they give out without notice and once I’m down they are not strong enough to get me back up. The right side of my face paralyses pretty much daily and there has not been a day since I haven’t experienced a migraine.

Why did it have to cost me so much for that information. Two years in a row im at a bad point with my health. I’m the sickest I’ve ever been and its scary. When you have no control over your body you just have to live with whatever happens.

In their words the results of the treatment is good information to know. In a medical point of view I have the utmost respect for them and grateful for their work. But the me thats just lost the few bits of quality of life I had left is angry. We told them about my history of reactions that I cant even take pain medication because of it.

I’m now viewed as a complex patient, having doctors and speviloatss tell you they are in over their head is undesirable. For months I complained about my hearing loss, by the time it was taken seriously it was too late the damage was done. I’m now permanently deaf.

I feel guilty about how I feel because medical professionals save lives on a daily basis and are just doing their job. But I  can’t just pretend the anger and resentment is not there right now. I won’t hold onto this anger because I know it will only hurt me furthe. In time just like those reactions those feelings will pass.

Have you experienced medical resentment and if so how did you deal with it? Start a conversation below id love to know xx

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One Comment

  1. Hi Elina, I really missed talking to you! I totally get what you’re saying and understand where you’re coming from, what you’re feeling is just valid. I’m sorry that you had to go through all that, I wish I could give you a hug right now. Let’s talk and catch up when you can xx